While browsing YouTube looking for links for this week’s mailbag I was kindly reminded that today is Memorial Day. The reminder came in the form of “The Ultimate Memorial Day BBQ Plan,” a top video recipe for bacon wrapped corn on the cob. And that was depressing. But only because bacon wrapped corn on the cob sounds like the most delicious thing ever and it will make me fat. And when I’m fat, I’ll officially have no chance of playing professional baseball. But then I realized it’s baseball, where Bartolo Colon is considered an athlete, and I was happy again. So here is this week’s mailbag, with real questions from fake readers.
Q: Is Tony Campana Superman? – Bruce W.
Joel: Yes. Yes he is.
Keenan: If he is, he’s totally wasting his powers. He should really be spinning the world backwards to turn back time and not end up on the Cubs somehow. Or using his x-ray vision on the ladies. Heh. Regardless, he’d still get his ass kicked by Michael Phelps.
Q: What was your favorite defensive play of the week? – Derrick S.
Joel: Alex Gordon’s catch against the Orioles on Saturday. There is so much that made the catch awesome. Before I break it down, take a look at the .gif:
First of all, Gordon is fine. No injury there. But how awesome was that catch? He catches it, and then has a teammate take out his legs. Then, his teammate, Jarrod Dyson, has the tenacity to run over and take the ball from Gordon’s glove to get it back into the infield. Unknown to Dyson, there were two outs prior to the catch. So that was pretty much pointless. But that isn’t even the best part. Just check out Gordon’s face during the catch:
Keenan: I hope that someone, somewhere, has Jarrod Dyson’s dental records on file. Just saying.
Q: How about Vanderbilt with the triple steal? – Some guy that plays for Vanderbilt
Keenan: Shut up, don’t care. Derrick Salberg.
Joel: What is this? Amateur hour? No, Salberg’s catch was nice, but he was playing in a little league park. This week’s Outside is Overrated Weekly Stud of the Week is clearly Albert Pujols, and not just because he’s finally come alive for my fantasy team. It’s because home runs, dude.
Q: The Dickey train continues. – Matt L.
Keenan: Sure, the Dickey train seems like a good idea at the time and is fun while it lasts, but I assure you it will be a short trip ultimately resulting in disappointment and regret.
If you have any questions, send them to firstname.lastname@example.org. Please.